Awhile back I listened to a From the Heart podcast episode (The Inner Critic [part 1 & part]) which inspired this reflection.
Prompt: Write an open letter to yourself. Write your heart out to yourself.
An open letter to me, Jessie:
You should be proud of yourself. You have come a really long way in one year. Have you realized that? You’ve tackled a lot of things that you hoped to tackle – you met a lot of goals you’d been setting for years, and you even proved your inner critic WRONG. Let’s give that inner critic the middle finger in this letter and continue to prove him wrong!
YOU’VE BUILT DAILY HABITS. Remember that dick inner critic telling you (and encouraging you to tell others) that you could never do something every single day? That every time you tried to start a habit you always failed? That you were too weak, lazy, and undisciplined to ever conquer something as simple as starting your morning the same way every day. Well HOTDAMN, girlfriend, you discredited the shit out of that!
1) You started by making your bed – EVERY DAY. This felt super good and you taught yourself that you absolutely can do something every day. You CAN build habits.
2) YOU STARTED A MORNING ROUTINE – with meditation, coffee, and planning your day ALMOST EVERY DAY FOR SEVERAL MONTHS now. Wow – I’m so proud. I hope you are too.
YOU HAVE WRITTEN, READ, AND MEDITATED MORE THAN EVER. Remember when you wanted to read more, dreamt of the days of finishing a manuscript, and felt like an imposter when you talked to people about meditation? Well you’re DOING all of it! You’re writing, you’re reading, you’re thinking, you’re MAKING WAVES BABE.
Best of all:
YOU HAVE CHOSEN LOVE THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS AND NOT LOST SIGHT OF SELF CARE. You still get regular good quality sleep (most nights). I mean you’re a graduate student sleeping eight hours MOST nights. That’s something to be PROUD (not ashamed) of. You’re still doing (AND TEACHING) yoga. And ON TOP OF THAT you even go to the gym! I mean this is pretty fucking amazing considering all the shit you handle every day. Remember how tough things were a couple years ago? Looking for any way to stay in bed, not leave the house, because you DIDN’T FEEL WORTHY? You are SO WORTHY. And you are doing SO GOOD. You are a kinder, more patient, more aware, more attentive person. And I imagine it feels really good to be you – IT SHOULD FEEL GOOD TO BE YOU. YOU ARE A BOSS ASS BITCH!
Now, carry on with your day. Watch out for my evil twin – the Mr. A-Hole inner critic. When you see him, go ahead and say a kind hi (because that’s the kind of thing you do), but give him the middle finger for me.
Love you girlfriend,
Your Inner Best Friend
Keep grindin’ friends (but don’t forget to channel your inner best friend)!
-J